Editorial: Love that Protects

by Jan Tritten

© 1992 Midwifery Today, Inc. All rights reserved.

[Editor's note: This editorial appeared in Midwifery Today Issue 24, Winter 1992. Reprinted in The Heart and Science of Homebirth, 1999.]

Midwifery requires love and a lot of it. As Carla Hartley says, "Love is a verb." It is not just a feeling; it suggests action, protection, trust. The Bible supports that definition. Two of my favorite passages on love read: "If you love someone you will be loyal to her [him], no matter what the cost. You will always believe in her, always expect the best of her, and always stand your ground in defending her" and "(Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I want to address the aspect "to protect"

As childbirth attendants, we must vigorously protect the birthing woman and her baby against wrong information, overly interventive technology, a convoluted system of law and medical ignorance that fuel interventive technology, and individuals who do not have her best interests at heart. Often we have to protect her against her own fears.

How do we do it? We educate and counsel her and her family. We define a safe space that says "Pregnancy and birth are natural and normal. You can accomplish them and we will be there to help you." We feed her both physically and emotionally. We love her. Our greatest concern is our mother and her baby.

We are also charged with the responsibility to protect midwifery, what it means and how it is implemented. We must define who we are and what we do and stay personally within the realm of our definition. We may each have somewhat different philosophies but I would hope that what prevails is with-woman care and protection of the safety and sanctity of each mother and baby. We must stand strong in the face of outside resistance.

If mothers and babies are our overidding concern, what does that mean in our practices? Protecting. Advocating. Consider this scenario: You know in your heart that your laboring woman can birth naturally, though her labor is progressing slower than Friedmans curve indicates. Your backup doctor is pressing for a pitocin augmentation and the woman's mother thinks the baby should be here by now if you were doing your job right. You are steadfast but gentle against the onslaught. You speak for the birthing woman, firm in your philosophy and your love for the birthing family. You know who you are there to serve. You know right from wrong within the definition of who you are and what you know to be true of birth and women and their capabilities.

We must be clear about who we serve and who we are committed to protect. As one obstetrician stated, "I wish I were the only one in the room with the birthing woman, but I'm there with the insurance companies, the legal system and the courts, all the hospital staff, my colleagues and established standards of care." Who else is in the room with you and your birthing mother?

Sometimes you'll feel like the Lorax, the little Dr. Seuss character who tries desperately to save the trees from being chopped down. He cried, "I am the Lorax; I speak for the trees!" As midwives, we fight to stop women from being cut down in childbirth, and we scream, "I am the midwife; I speak for the women!" We are the last voice crying furiously into the wilderness. We must protect this voice and make absolutely sure it is not suppressed or co-opted.

We teach, counsel and make difficult calls constantly. Midwifery is not for the weak or faint hearted. It takes strong women to stand firm in what we believe, what we know. Whenever a really tough call comes you might ask, "What is the most loving thing to do or say in this situation?" Follow your heart's answer and do it with kindness to everyone concerned. Kindness is itself a form of protection. The proverb "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger," is so appropriate.

Why go through the trauma to protect, to love? There are probably as many reasons as there are people. Maybe you do it for self-esteem, to feel good about yourself, because you value people, for the betterment of society, because loving is our reason for being. I think a line in the last song of Les Miserables sums it up for me, "Remember the truth that once was spoken, to love another person is to see the face of God."

Toward Better Birth,
 jan

Jan Tritten Jan Tritten is the founder and editor of Midwifery Today. She became a midwife in 1976 after the wonderful homebirth of one of her daughters. Her mission is to make loving midwifery care the norm for birthing women and their babies in this country and around the world. Meet Jan at our conferences around the world! [ PHOTO BY ANDREA NOLL ]   >  Editorials  Click here to read some of Jan's Midwifery Today editorials.   >  Curriculum Vitae  1947 Born in Los Angeles, California. 1965 Graduated from Placer High School in Auburn, California. 1966 Trained for one year as a psychiatric technician. Courses included basic nursing, pharmacology, microbiology, anatomy and physiology, psychology. 1966–1971 Worked at DeWitt State Hospital in Auburn, California as a psychiatric technician. 1968 Graduated from Sierra College with an Associate of Arts degree. 1970 Graduated with honors from Sacramento State College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Social Science. 1971 Earned Lifetime California teaching credential with fifth-year program from Sacramento State College. 1972 First daughter born in a hospital. It changed my life forever. It was an unsatisfactory birth experience, but I had a wonderful postpartum experience with 2-1/2 years of breastfeeding. 1976 Second daughter born. She was born at home with a doctor who talked me into a homebirth. The difference between the two births sent me on a path to do something to help women have positive birth experiences. 1976 Began training as a midwife. Because I was raising young children and running a business, and because there were no CNM schools in my area, becoming a CNM was not within my reach. 1977 Began attending births with the Birth Co-op in Eugene while organizing courses in our community taught by CNMs, physicians, nutritionists, etc. 1978 Began a midwifery practice, New Life Care, with a partner, Chris Howard, and apprentice Monika Dunsmore. 1979 Son born at home. 1980 Did a one-year program with Marion Toepke McLean, CNM. Four of us completed the program, which was modeled after CNM curriculum at that time. She took a year off from her practice to teach us and to go to our births with us. 1982 First group of midwives certified by the Oregon Midwives Council. Our board was composed of CNMs and physicians. 1986 Slowed down practice and started Midwifery Today magazine.

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